Growing up it was drilled into me that having sex before marriage is a bad thing, not just for medical reasons but also for spiritual reasons. God told us not to have sex outside of marriage and I fully wanted to obey God. I got married in June 2010 and am proud to say that I waited to have sex until my wedding night. Now you may be wondering if I waited then why I am so passionate about this blog... Well... Keep reading. You see I waited for sex but my husband did not. He started having sex when he was around 15-16. When I married him he was 26 and I was 19. I knew before we got married that he was not a virgin but he was abstinent two years before he met me. However, after we got married and obviously had sex it started to really tear me up that my husband did not wait. I kept picturing him with other women and I found myself crying a lot although I didn't let him know I was upset. He found out one day how torn up it made me and a very long story short we ended up having the worst fight ever. I won't go into the details because thats very personal, but we did fight. I hurt me so bad that he could not wait for his wife to have sex and the fact that I could picture him with the other women hurt worse.
My insides burnt, my heart beat fast, and I was constantly wondering how he compared me to other women... Being that I had never had sex before I thought that maybe he was not happy with me because I didn't know anything about sex. Little did I know... One day as we were driving from Wichita Kansas back home for no apparent reason he told me "I just wanted you to know that I have never compared you to another women and I love you very much." I looked at him in amazement and started crying... That had been a huge burden on me and it felt like it had all been lifted. He then told me that "It wouldn't be fair to compare any woman to another because all women are different and each has their own good and not so good qualities." Needless to say I was happy. For a while after that though I still got jealous when I heard the name of a girl he slept with or dated. Then about two weeks ago after still getting very hurt at the sound of their names I realized that instead of cringing I should pray for them, and thats what I have been doing for two weeks. Praying for their souls. My husband did not lead a Christian life until he was in his early 20's. So a lot of the women he slept with or dated were not the best of women to say it politely. So I pray for them and wouldn't you know, I have not felt hurt, jealous, or even angry at hearing their names. God took that burden from me and now Nick and I have a much better unhindered relationship. I am much happier too.
So you see, I don't want any other girls or boys to have to go through what I did. It hurts to bad and it causes to much strain on your marriage. And if my story will keep other girls from having to go through the pain I did than the pain was worth it.
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Tell the world, my dear niece! Always remember that the larger percent of those "not so nice" girls were never taught about abstinence at all. Those whose hearts are broken will weep upon hearing it, but they need to hear it so as to choose abstinence from here forward. I pray the Lord will richly bless your endeavors here!
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