Growing up it was drilled into me that having sex before marriage is a bad thing, not just for medical reasons but also for spiritual reasons. God told us not to have sex outside of marriage and I fully wanted to obey God. I got married in June 2010 and am proud to say that I waited to have sex until my wedding night. Now you may be wondering if I waited then why I am so passionate about this blog... Well... Keep reading. You see I waited for sex but my husband did not. He started having sex when he was around 15-16. When I married him he was 26 and I was 19. I knew before we got married that he was not a virgin but he was abstinent two years before he met me. However, after we got married and obviously had sex it started to really tear me up that my husband did not wait. I kept picturing him with other women and I found myself crying a lot although I didn't let him know I was upset. He found out one day how torn up it made me and a very long story short we ended up having the worst fight ever. I won't go into the details because thats very personal, but we did fight. I hurt me so bad that he could not wait for his wife to have sex and the fact that I could picture him with the other women hurt worse.
My insides burnt, my heart beat fast, and I was constantly wondering how he compared me to other women... Being that I had never had sex before I thought that maybe he was not happy with me because I didn't know anything about sex. Little did I know... One day as we were driving from Wichita Kansas back home for no apparent reason he told me "I just wanted you to know that I have never compared you to another women and I love you very much." I looked at him in amazement and started crying... That had been a huge burden on me and it felt like it had all been lifted. He then told me that "It wouldn't be fair to compare any woman to another because all women are different and each has their own good and not so good qualities." Needless to say I was happy. For a while after that though I still got jealous when I heard the name of a girl he slept with or dated. Then about two weeks ago after still getting very hurt at the sound of their names I realized that instead of cringing I should pray for them, and thats what I have been doing for two weeks. Praying for their souls. My husband did not lead a Christian life until he was in his early 20's. So a lot of the women he slept with or dated were not the best of women to say it politely. So I pray for them and wouldn't you know, I have not felt hurt, jealous, or even angry at hearing their names. God took that burden from me and now Nick and I have a much better unhindered relationship. I am much happier too.
So you see, I don't want any other girls or boys to have to go through what I did. It hurts to bad and it causes to much strain on your marriage. And if my story will keep other girls from having to go through the pain I did than the pain was worth it.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Benefits of Abstinence in Men
The benefits of abstinence in men are as follows:
The biggest and most obvious would of course be STD's. HIV, AIDS, Genital Herpes, and Hepatitis, these are the most popular STD's known to men. They are also STD's that have no cure.
AIDS as you know is not a pleasant disease, it progressively reduces the effectiveness of the immune system and leaves individuals susceptible to opportunistic infections and tumors. HIV is transmitted through direct contact of a mucous membrane or the bloodstream with a bodily fluid containing HIV, such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid, preseminal fluid, and breast milk. This transmission can involve anal, vaginal, or oral sex, blood transfusion, and contaminated hypodermic needles or other exposure to one of the above bodily fluids.
Genital Herpes - A sexually transmitted viral infection affecting the skin or mucous membranes of the genitals.Thats all i'm saying about that because if you use your imagination then you can picture this. And can I just say.... GROSS!
Hepatitis - An inflammation of the liver. In some cases, progressive liver damage, liver failure, or even liver cancer may result.This virus spreads by contact with bodily fluid much the same way as AIDS.
Also, no sex leads to no children. Which also leads to know child support checks. Along with if you later find you don't like that girl then you never have to see her again, whereas if you have a kid with her than you're stuck for the rest of your life with her.
Decreased Sperm Count - This (along with others not relating to this topic) can be caused by condoms using lubricants containing spermicide, oils, and Vaseline. This is sometimes permanent and will decrease your likelihood of having kids in the future with your wife.
Another point my husband just brought up was that once you find a girl you will marry and marry her every time you have sex with her you are bringing every girl you have every slept with into that bedroom with you. Also, every time you have sex with her she will wonder if she is adequate enough for you and wonder how she measures up to the other women you have slept with and she'll wonder if you are comparing her to other women, which will lead to her being awkward and even shy in the bedroom.
Writing this saddened me, when I did the research I discovered that you can find loads of info for women but when it came to men nothing is to be found... I came across one site about abstinence that said "Abstinence? Who cares! just go screw em all!" referring to women.. Now I have a goal of writing more in this topic and getting that information out to the public.
The biggest and most obvious would of course be STD's. HIV, AIDS, Genital Herpes, and Hepatitis, these are the most popular STD's known to men. They are also STD's that have no cure.
AIDS as you know is not a pleasant disease, it progressively reduces the effectiveness of the immune system and leaves individuals susceptible to opportunistic infections and tumors. HIV is transmitted through direct contact of a mucous membrane or the bloodstream with a bodily fluid containing HIV, such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid, preseminal fluid, and breast milk. This transmission can involve anal, vaginal, or oral sex, blood transfusion, and contaminated hypodermic needles or other exposure to one of the above bodily fluids.
Genital Herpes - A sexually transmitted viral infection affecting the skin or mucous membranes of the genitals.Thats all i'm saying about that because if you use your imagination then you can picture this. And can I just say.... GROSS!
Hepatitis - An inflammation of the liver. In some cases, progressive liver damage, liver failure, or even liver cancer may result.This virus spreads by contact with bodily fluid much the same way as AIDS.
Also, no sex leads to no children. Which also leads to know child support checks. Along with if you later find you don't like that girl then you never have to see her again, whereas if you have a kid with her than you're stuck for the rest of your life with her.
Decreased Sperm Count - This (along with others not relating to this topic) can be caused by condoms using lubricants containing spermicide, oils, and Vaseline. This is sometimes permanent and will decrease your likelihood of having kids in the future with your wife.
Another point my husband just brought up was that once you find a girl you will marry and marry her every time you have sex with her you are bringing every girl you have every slept with into that bedroom with you. Also, every time you have sex with her she will wonder if she is adequate enough for you and wonder how she measures up to the other women you have slept with and she'll wonder if you are comparing her to other women, which will lead to her being awkward and even shy in the bedroom.
Writing this saddened me, when I did the research I discovered that you can find loads of info for women but when it came to men nothing is to be found... I came across one site about abstinence that said "Abstinence? Who cares! just go screw em all!" referring to women.. Now I have a goal of writing more in this topic and getting that information out to the public.
The Benefits of Abstinence in Women
I will do a benefits for men but that will take a little more research and I wanted to post on here so that you don't get bored. Some of the benefits in abstaining from sex:
STD's - As I like to put it the gift that keeps on giving. Women who keep from getting STD's also avoid the long term side effects. Pelvic Inflammatory disease or PIDS is the main one. In PIDS the organisms of the STD cause widespread, serious infection of the pelvic organs and may get into a woman's bloodstream. It can cause serious illness or even death. Scarring of the fallopian tubes may not be noticed until years later, when infertility or ectopic pregnancy (an egg planted outside the uterus, usually inside the fallopian tubes) occur. Ectopic pregnancy itself can cause death and diminish or destroy the remaining childbearing potential.
Cervical cancer is likely triggered by human papilloma virus (HPV). A woman is exposed to HPV through sex. Even though she may not get an STD, there is still a high correlation between cervical cancer (HPV) and having intercourse. Though virgins rarely get HPV, there is still a high rate of it in women who have had multiple sex partners. There is a shot for this. I have had it though I never had sex until I was married. It does not feel good at all, in fact it hurts! However, the benefits of 'Gardisil' out weigh the pain of the 5 second shot.
Urinary and Genital Infections - Absinent women have lower rates of vaginitis, a vaginal infection that is not sexually transmitted, and urinary tract infections or UTI's. These infections can be cause by bacteria from the skin being dragged into the vagina or to the opening of the urinary tract unintentionally during intercourse or foreplay. The penis has bacteria like all skin, it is a frequent occurrence for the man's penis to dangle between the womens legs during foreplay, where it can pick up bacteria from around the women's anus. These bacteria can cause yeast infections in the vagina and can infect the bladder as well.
Social and Psychological Benefits - Young girls that abstain form sex have a higher rate of academic achievement. Women of all ages experience less depression and emotional upset due to relationship problems. Abstinent women also experience less domestic abuse and injuries.
Now obviously most women won't remain abstinent forever, however those that remain abstinent in their teens and early adult years will avoid most STD's and relationship related psych problems, as they are higher-risk years. I am not saying that having sex is bad for your health, in fact sex is normal and has medical benefits in and of itself, however having sex at a younger age will increase your risks. My advice as you may have guessed is wait until you are married. That way it is special for you and your husband and you get to share a magical night together. Men are next....
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Why Against the Current
Before I can really explain why I chose this name I must tell you why I am even on here... You see several years ago I had this idea to have conferences on the subject of abstinence. I wanted to tell the world to stay pure until your wedding night, not just because for one, thats what the Bible tells us to do, but I wanted to share the medical reasoning behind it as well. So just a couple of days ago I was telling Nick (my husband) what I wanted to do. He was encouraged by it and is helping me along the way. This blog is my first step to my conferences... Anyway, the reason why I called it Against the Current is because as of right now the main flow for the world is that sex before marriage is the norm and even encouraged among some families, also abortions are generally accepted, so as a result they would be called the 'current'. So my being here and discouraging it and giving biblical as well as medical reasoning behind why abstinence is a good thing, would be considered 'Against the Current'. I am proud of what God has called me to do and I hope that in some way this will bless your life.
P.s. Nick is the one that came up with the name. ;)
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